Each of us thinks in our own way about marriage. On the one hand, there are very enthusiastic people, because it is one of their goals in life (they think about it especially when they are alone), while on the other hand, they are completely in love, but they don’t bother to make it official.Many couples talk about marriage just before they put on the rings, but even at this stage there can be a small impasse that creates a kind of inexplicable awkwardness. It’s not that there are recipes in these cases, but what you need to know is how to have such a necessary conversation, but at the same time feel good about it.
Make sure – do you want to marry him? First of all, you should find the answer to this question within yourself, and not from any relative, close friend or from him. Any kind of pressure, of any kind, fear, from society or anyone – are not good reasons to decide on marriage. Ask yourself: is this the man I want to grow up with? (or at least try to)? Is marriage to this man what I want most?If after these questions, there are no doubts and if you are going to marry because you love this man, then it is the right time to start the discussion with him. But if you have doubts of any kind, talk to a professional or someone you know who can give you valid reasons.
Have a smooth discussion: How you start the conversation is quite important because it makes all the difference. Something along the lines of “I thought I’d spend my life with you” can work (it carries more weight if you’re in a long-term relationship – because it creates a nice, humorous situation).
Find a quiet place that radiates love. Telling your loved one that you will spend the rest of your life with them can be a romantic conversation – no one doubts that. But don’t overlook the place where you will have this conversation, because the memory of it will always be fresh. There are thousands of ways to start a conversation like this, but to make it as healthy as possible and remember it for a long time, you need to fill in all the elements.
Never say never. When communicating, you should not use absolute expressions or phrases like “never” and “always” – they can scare him. This is an unwritten rule, but a very important one.
Do not think that he will not marry. If there is any reason why he might have doubts about the marriage (if he is divorced or if he spent a childhood with divorced parents), then be careful with this part. Do not consider marriage as the happy solution for all people – he may have something else in mind, for life as a couple and cohabitation. Start the conversation with the fact that you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him, then you can go to the fact that you both can feel good even under an institution like marriage.Don’t go back to that conversation. Once you’ve realized that you want to live with each other and you’ve had this conversation, then it’s best not to go back. He needs time to plan the proposal, but also not to feel pressured after that discussion (to get the ring ready, to ask permission from the parents, to plan the wedding for himself… let the partner do his own thing.